I came across a picture last night. A picture of me about 100# ago. And I started wondering: "How did I let that happen? How did I let myself go?" Denial got me to that point.
I remember making my own clothes at that point, and using a size 16 pattern, for my size 24 self. I would cut the fabric about 4 inches outside that size 16 line. I would look in the mirror, and try to convince myself I was still the same...still an average size. I remember comparing myself to other people, too. I thought the thinner people had some special pact with God, and I thought the fatter people were definitely fatter than me.
And I remember eating way too much. And not moving. And walking up a flight of stairs that made me so out of breath it took me 5 minutes to recover.
What got me there? Denial.
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